This week's Gallery & Writing Workshop have been combined for a post with words & photos and the theme is emotions.



These photos don't bring me joy to look at anymore , instead of being fun filled memories they are now photos of what I once had.Looking at them I am taken back with so many different emotions , I'm either sobbing away or shouting angrily at them.

You see these two boys were my brothers , I use the word 'were' because I refused to have anything to do with the one brother and the other one refused to have anything to do with me. The one that I no longer want to know is a druggie and has spent time in jail, I spent my time not only receiving beatings from my father but from this brother. He seemed to have inherited his violent streak. I cut ties with him when I caught him acting like a total idiot whilst my son was in his house (he still lived with my Mother & Father) he was high on his drugs and every word that came out of his mouth was a swear word. Not a person I want in either mine or my son's life.

The other brother decided he didnt want to have anything to do with me , he sees me as the person who attempted to destroy the person. If only he knew what his Mother was really like and what I had experienced whilst growing up having them as parents.
He's my little brother and it destroys me inside knowing that he doesnt want to have anything to do with me. How do I tell him that what I did was for the best? How do I make him understand that I'm a happier person for cutting ties with my family. Doesnt he remember the roles I played in his life , as soon as I was earning my own money I spent it on him. I made up for how tight my parents were with their money. I took him out for daytrips, we went to the park together and I helped him with his homework. I message his best friend everyweek to ask how he is , he's doing so well at college by the sounds of it and has plans for Uni. I am proud of him, just wish I could tell him that in the flesh.










 

Emma @ Me , The Man & The Baby

I chose prompt 3 this week from Josie's Writing Workshop . “You just don’t get it!” – share a story about a time you felt that your other half, or somebody else, failed to understand something important about your life, your personality, or your needs.


There's something about me that only a handful of you know about, It's not something I talk about or share with other people as much as I should.

I'm a Christian.

I said it , I'm a Christian and I believe in God.

My faith is not as strong as it used to be , God used to be at the center of my life and I used to live my life the Christian way. I like to think I still do minus the sex before marriage .
Friends never used to get me at school when I used to tell them I was going away with my youth group with church or that I was spending my Sunday morning worshipping.
I remember telling some friends that I was spending a Saturday feeding the homeless with my church , when word of this got round school. I was bullied and teased about it.
But nothing they said/did knocked my faith , it just made it stronger. They just didn't get it.


I got baptised at the age of 13



My parents thought it was funny that I had chosen that route , they didn't get it as all they wanted to do was drink 24/7 and be horrible people (I will go into that more in a future post!) . They didn't get that I wanted to live this pure life and not sin , whilst my brother was creating havoc and landing himself in prison I was at Church and helping others around me.
Who did they take the mick out of? Me. They didnt support me in ways that I needed them too , hence why I dropped out of GCSES/College. I never had that tiny bit of parental support that I needed.

My Christian faith did weaken though when I hit my late teens , I turned 18 and discovered alcohol and boys.
Fast forward a few years later and I now have Jonny & Oliver , what ever I did in the past I don't regret because its led me to my life here with my boys , my new town with new friends.

I still consider myself to be a Christian even though I've not set foot in a church for well over a year. I still regularly read the bible and reflect on passages that I read. It is difficult when your in a relationship with a non-believer. We've talked about it and he knows where I stand in the whole-believing-in-God situation and I know where he stands. He just doesn't get it.


Emma @ Me , The Man & The Baby