I have not posted anything about my parenting book since I mentioned that I had been commissioned to write it by Vermillion, part of the Random House group of publishers. Well the book is soon to be out on release. When I mean soon – 10 weeks to me is pretty soon. I finally have the book cover and wanted to share it with you. I love it but then I am biaised. What do you think?

I was having a conversation the other day with a friend of mine and we were discussing if children need you more or less as they grow up. Personally I think it is a difficult one to answer. Children need your time when they are pre-school. They like you to play with them, take them wherever you go, they rely on you for entertainment on some level. You are their parent, carer, entertainer, teacher, meal provider, chauffeur, social secretary.

When your children go to school you see them less but they still need you emotionally. They need your time to do homework with them, take them places – you are their ‘taxi driver’ but spend more time with their friends and less time with you. The teenager years replicate this but they have more homework. Then you become their guide, their counsellor, coach too.

No matter what stage of life they are they will need you for stability, guidance and possibly money! For me the jury is out on if they need you more or less. I think they need us more emotionally as they get older but don’t want us around so much. They need and rely on us despite what age they are.

What do you think?

 My husband kindly passed on this article to me about a new book that has been published and I thought I would share it with you. It is not my normal thing to do as you know unless you follow me on twitter at @thekidscoach. I share articles there all the time.

The book called ‘Under Pressure: Rescuing Our Children from the Culture of Hyper-Parenting’ has been written by a dad called Carl Honoré. Carl is passionate about living and enjoying life with his children and has written this book to ‘save children from their hyper-active, over-ambitious parents’ He talks about his own experience of raising his two children and the moment he vowed to stop being a pushy dad.

This reason I found the article interesting is that in the past I have seen children who feel over scheduled. They may be doing 3 or 4 after-school activities a week (one of those may include a tutor) as well as their homework. They tell me that they are tired and want to do less. They would like more time to relax and see their friends. I work with them to find balance and the words to communicate to their parents what they would like to change.

So here is the article – http://tgr.ph/ryZKyR

What are your thoughts?

Decision making is important as it teaches children about choice, getting what they want and need from others and it also empowers them. If we do not allow our children to make any of their own decisions then they will always look to us to make them for them. Do we really want them to be coming to us when they are adults asking us what should they do about x?

Yet if we allow our children to make all their own decisions including the ones we as parents should be making then where does that lead them? It gives them too much power. There are decisions that parents should be making like bedtimes, sleepovers, holidays etc.

So how do we reach a middle ground where our children make and take responsibility for their decisions? We can start to give them choices when they are young and increase those choices. For example you could ask them how they would like to spend the day or what they want for dinner by giving them two options.

How many and what decisions  do you let your child make?